D: Tommy Lee Wallace C: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O’Herlihy

After the idiotic HALLOWEEN and the even more idiotic HALLOWEEN II, it seems that John Carpenter decided to try his hand at making a movie with a plot and call it SEASON OF THE WITCH. He should have known better. A decade before, after the idiotic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, George Romero made a movie. Also with a plot, and also called SEASON OF THE WITCH. Predictably, ten minutes into it, his zombie audience was screaming BRAINS and WHERE’S THE GUY IN THE HOCKEY MASK? He then made DAWN OF THE DEAD and DAY OF THE DEAD and a remake of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. He could have been a contender. After the idiotic A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, Wes Craven made DEADLY FRIEND with a plot. After the idiotic STAR WARS, George Lucas made HOWARD THE DUCK, with a plot. All these people could have been directors. But their braindead fans wouldn’t let them. Also predictably, there was a HALLOWEEN IV and a HALLOWEEN XI. Of course, HALLOWEEN III is actually about Samhain. It’s also a fantastic story about a demonic toymaker planning to sacrifice the disgusting children buying his masks. He even succeeds! There’s Stonehenge and witchery and computers, and it’s generally a delight. Original story: Nigel “Quatermass” Kneale. The idea was for a new story for every instalment of the series. Only, the public wanted ten carbon copies of the “original”, which was a carbon copy of the baby sitter killer urban legend. And the public gets what it wants, which is what it understands, being nothing. Did I mention that there was a STAR WARS II, called STAR WARS V? Hey, here’s an idea for HALLOWEEN XII. Invite every Romero and Argento fan that you can find to the premiere, then kill them all with a machete and film the whole thing! They may even enjoy it. At least I know I will.
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