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John Elton

I’ve always wondered about straight men – no, not the heterosexual, being one myself, nor the professional kind. I’m talking about the talk show guest being made fun of and taking it in his stride. I’ve been there, and the interviewer’s success may be gathered from his exasperated cry afterwards: YOU RUINED MY SHOW!!

I’m sure that the sheepish Elton John knew what he was in for, having been given a toy gun to be fired on cue and a punchline. But why not give the smug Mr. Atkinson a run for his money? It might go something like this:

“Is your father here tonight? Mr. Atkins? You are Mr. Atkins’ son, aren’t you? Do you have brothers too? Do they all like to row? Or is there a Skiing Atkinson as well? Oh you don’t row anymore? So you’re the guy who wrote that poem: We’ll Go No More A-Rowing …”

Maybe that’s why I’m not on television anymore.

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