ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT?!

Du har set HALLOWEEN KILLS. Du har set alle de andre HALLOWEENS, FRIDAY THE 13TH, 14TH and 15TH.

Du ved, hvad en flok uappetitlige teenagere gjorde sidste sommer, efterår og vinter, både i biograf- og tv-udgaven. Hvad har du ikke set?

Et par tusind horror og SF, fantasy og noir fra the golden age, hvoraf en stor del kan downloades gratis fra YouTube (da alligevel ingen er interesseret i film fra før 1980, vel?) Bare du vidste, hvilke titler du skulle søge på!

Og du har STADIG ikke bestilt HORROR AND SCIENCE FICTION IN THE CINEMA BEFORE 1980 II, selv om du ved, at du skal bestille den inden klokken 24 i aften fredag den 5. november 2021 for at spare HUNDREDE KRONER i porto. Are you stupid or what?!

THE DUNGEON OF HARROW

D: Pat Boyette C: Russ Harvey, Helen Hogan, William McNulty

Was Ed Wood really the worst director of all time? Of course he wasn’t. If he had really been so bad, he wouldn’t have been entertaining. If it were enough for something to be enjoyable that it was inept, there would be millions of Ed Woods, whereas in fact there are only a few who have achieved his status. So what is it that makes Ed’s movies good in spite of their amateurism? The answer is simply that he loved the cinema. The really bad movies are made by people, who really don’t care, because they’re in the business for the money, or because they despise or pretend to despise a medium they know nothing about. Shorn of all the pretensions, Ed Wood was a craftsman compared to self-important halfwits like “Von” Trier. Unfortunately, there is a tendency to snicker at anything without a budget, totally ignoring the love and care that may or may not have gone into the production. DUNGEON OF HARROW is clearly a labor of love and despite all its deficiencies an impressive achievement. The inspiration is clearly the Poe adaptations of ROGER CORMAN. Furthermore, the convoluted plot contains genre staples like castaways being hunted by mad counts with huge servants, mad relatives in attics, mute slave girls and pirates. The production design is flawless, and the performances mostly adequate, even when mouthing the not always convincing – but never silly – “18th century” dialogue. The wenches are pretty and aesthetically shackled, flogged and racked.

PREHISTORIC WOMEN

(SLAVE GIRLS)

D: Michael Carreras C: Martine Beswick, Edina Ronay, Michael Latimer

A white hunter pursues a wounded – but very sprightly – animal into forbidden territory, disrupting a Broadway show. He is later captured by ninety-pound amazons (being careful not to knock any of them over). They also have a queen with a whip and a birthday cake on her head – ooh, kinky! Of course, with these odds there can be only one outcome, one man and twenty women equaling one master and twenty sex slaves. In the meantime our hero, being a bit of a masochist, decides to play along. As it turns out, the queen isn’t really evil. She’s just in need of a good spanking, waiting for the Great White Rhino with the Big Horn (the Great White Male with a Gigantic Boner). It’s not that I’m naturally opposed to bubbleheaded women with big breasts, but this is ridiculous. Well, at least they’re not feminists. They’re pre-hysteric.